New beginning. Or not
It is hard to imagine that the snow was knee-high just a week ago. Sitting in my studio, I glance outside the window, and it is green. Gatsby no longer comes in crispy clean from the snow – he is darkish grey and unrecognizable.
As I write this, I see the Christmas tree still lit up out of the corner of my eye. The house smells of raspberries and white chocolate - nothing has changed, and I still love the kitchen the most. Although I vowed not to order more dahlia, vegetable, and flower seeds this year, I have already finished my January 1st shopping at Famfarms. My rule is broken with my 32-item wish list on Seedaholic and more than ten on Grace. I look at their websites and keep reminding myself that I should stop, yet a voice inside tells me I should not.
It is only the 4th of January, yet it feels like a month has passed since the recent celebration of letting go of 2021. The festivity was adorable, by the way. Not with friends as we used to since restriction are still on, but it was just as gorgeous as we desired to make it. The morning of the 31st, we drove to Riga for some pâté en croûte, oysters, cakes, duck legs for my confit, and bread. We shopped and enjoyed Riga like no other time. I had my final 2021 oat cappuccino at Better Bread and was ready to let this year go in peace. That's how attached I am to their drink. All four of us were as ready as ever to let go of the stressful house renovations, book crowdfunding, packing 1600 books (by myself), not fulfilling some plans but realizing others, and being ill with the disease no one likes to mention. Yet, no other year has guided me so much through my life, showing me my boundaries, options, changes I can make, and things I can handle. I've stepped out of the necessity to be adored by others and evaluated by strangers. And most of all, I have learned that no matter how rich or poor you are, it is all about health - the ability to breath, walk, laugh, talk and be. Only that.
I have arranged my planner and desk, thrown out what is unneeded, and embraced what makes me happy. I have white sprinkle sponge cake waiting for me in the kitchen the moment I finish writing this, waiting to be layered with raspberry jam and covered in white chocolate cream. For no reason. Or just for learning and sharing my lessons with you. Or only because of those three leftover egg whites I had from making carbonara the day before, the Zoe bakes book, and my desire to waste no food. The reality is that it wasn't enough with just 3 of them, so I cracked open three more eggs, leaving me again with three more egg yolks. So, that’s how this recipe, an absolutely fantastic one, happened. Enjoy.
Recipe and pictures: Signe Meirane
